Welcome, Valued Customer!




For eight hundred years Planet Mercenary has been offering our clients the finest weapons and materiel the free market has to offer. During that time we've produced, in-house, a number of educational products, but over several hands of decades we've learned that the education wasn't working.

You, our customers, are bright, discerning people who understand the value of knowledge. You have, however, a number of sophonts in your employ who are literally too dumb to live, and you can't get these poor grunts to read a book to save their lives.

Enter our latest product, the Planet Mercenary Role Playing Game. With our help, you'll be able to trick your grunts into reading about the equipment they use, the enemies they'll face, and the places where, if they're not careful, they'll draw their last breath. It's an old-timey pencil-and-paper game, which may sound a little dull, but it's got cards and dice, and if eight hundred years in this business has taught us anything it's that the grunts can't resist something that looks like a game of chance. 

The Planet Mercenary Role Playing Game is currently under development, but we'll share bits of it with you as appropriate during the coming months. Until then, feel free to peruse our catalog. There's probably plenty of killing that needs to be done before you can take a break for a game.

By [redacted], Office of the CEO | 21 May 2015